Friday, April 23, 2004
The Fall of Jerome
Please, like this post has anything to do with a guy named Jerome. The title popped into my mind as I was thinking about this entry and I figured I had to use it. Cuz I mean…the fall of Jerome!
The other day I was watching the news and they did a story on a five legged calf. Now, this may not seem too strange as we know that nuclear waste can do anything out of the ordinary with just a little prayer and faith. Anyway, there was this five legged calf and the strange part about it is that the fifth leg was casually tossed over the calf’s back. It was just relaxing there. A relaxing fifth leg. Immediately I thought that they should have removed that fifth leg cuz it was so lazy, but the farmers didn’t do that. They laughed and called the newspapers and said “Come here and see the funniest thing. A calf with a lazy fifth leg!” And I laughed.
In other news…as most everyone knows, I have two sets of hamsters. I have Jimbo, my love, and three other mean and nasty dwarf hamsters. The dwarfs live in the same cage and are constantly bickering over one thing or another. I haven’t cleaned their cage in three weeks and when I got home yesterday, they looked at me with the saddest, most pleading eyes. “Please help us escape our filth!” In any case, I went to pick them up, cuz they looked so cute all covered in shit and piss. As I cupped one of them in my hand, the other two snarled and latched their teeth on to my thumb. Two sets of teeth on one thumb. I yelped in pain, dropped the other hamster, and told them to enjoy their poop and pee dinner. You want to bite me? I don’t clean you for another day.
Here are words that rhyme with shitbag:
Titbag
Cuntbag
Dishrag
Saggy tits
Bored of that game now.
My best friend Rita is getting married next Friday! Yahoooooodle! I get to wear a tux and stay in a hotel and I will be in all the pictures! I might even get my haircut with the rest of the bridesmaids. Paul is going to be my date. It is the first time that we have ever attended a function as gay boyfriends. I am so proud of him for having the courage to go through with it. He has been so supportive lately. I could kiss his face. Oh yeah, I do kiss his face. Kissy face. Kissy face nelson.
Rita and I had a very long talk last night about the upcoming event. She is doing pretty well and from what I can tell hasn’t gotten a severe case of cold feet. I did tell her, though, that if for any reason she wants to hightail it out of the wedding and drive to Canada to escape, I’ll charge up my credit cards and we will slip away! A true best friend always gives you the out.
That’s about it for me. Today is my friend Angie’s birthday. Celebrating with her tonight. Tomorrow night I’m supposed to go to a roller skating party, but I’m sure that I will bail on that one. I just don’t see how it’s cool to go roller skating at 26. Especially with a bunch of straight people. Now that’s just uncomfortable. But then again, if you are a straight guy and you go to a roller skating party, I’m not so sure that you are so cool that I would feel like a loser. I don’t know…roller skating is for gay babies.
Did this post melt your labias? Did it blow your nuts right off the sack?
If not, go here:
Royal TIT watching!
Have great weekends everyone!
Much much love and sex.
Please, like this post has anything to do with a guy named Jerome. The title popped into my mind as I was thinking about this entry and I figured I had to use it. Cuz I mean…the fall of Jerome!
The other day I was watching the news and they did a story on a five legged calf. Now, this may not seem too strange as we know that nuclear waste can do anything out of the ordinary with just a little prayer and faith. Anyway, there was this five legged calf and the strange part about it is that the fifth leg was casually tossed over the calf’s back. It was just relaxing there. A relaxing fifth leg. Immediately I thought that they should have removed that fifth leg cuz it was so lazy, but the farmers didn’t do that. They laughed and called the newspapers and said “Come here and see the funniest thing. A calf with a lazy fifth leg!” And I laughed.
In other news…as most everyone knows, I have two sets of hamsters. I have Jimbo, my love, and three other mean and nasty dwarf hamsters. The dwarfs live in the same cage and are constantly bickering over one thing or another. I haven’t cleaned their cage in three weeks and when I got home yesterday, they looked at me with the saddest, most pleading eyes. “Please help us escape our filth!” In any case, I went to pick them up, cuz they looked so cute all covered in shit and piss. As I cupped one of them in my hand, the other two snarled and latched their teeth on to my thumb. Two sets of teeth on one thumb. I yelped in pain, dropped the other hamster, and told them to enjoy their poop and pee dinner. You want to bite me? I don’t clean you for another day.
Here are words that rhyme with shitbag:
Titbag
Cuntbag
Dishrag
Saggy tits
Bored of that game now.
My best friend Rita is getting married next Friday! Yahoooooodle! I get to wear a tux and stay in a hotel and I will be in all the pictures! I might even get my haircut with the rest of the bridesmaids. Paul is going to be my date. It is the first time that we have ever attended a function as gay boyfriends. I am so proud of him for having the courage to go through with it. He has been so supportive lately. I could kiss his face. Oh yeah, I do kiss his face. Kissy face. Kissy face nelson.
Rita and I had a very long talk last night about the upcoming event. She is doing pretty well and from what I can tell hasn’t gotten a severe case of cold feet. I did tell her, though, that if for any reason she wants to hightail it out of the wedding and drive to Canada to escape, I’ll charge up my credit cards and we will slip away! A true best friend always gives you the out.
That’s about it for me. Today is my friend Angie’s birthday. Celebrating with her tonight. Tomorrow night I’m supposed to go to a roller skating party, but I’m sure that I will bail on that one. I just don’t see how it’s cool to go roller skating at 26. Especially with a bunch of straight people. Now that’s just uncomfortable. But then again, if you are a straight guy and you go to a roller skating party, I’m not so sure that you are so cool that I would feel like a loser. I don’t know…roller skating is for gay babies.
Did this post melt your labias? Did it blow your nuts right off the sack?
If not, go here:
Royal TIT watching!
Have great weekends everyone!
Much much love and sex.
